Assume the worst: the graduation speech you'll never hear

Book Cover
Average Rating
Publisher
Alfred A. Knopf
Publication Date
2018.
Language
English

Description

This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it."This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."     So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody.     And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.     Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.      This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.

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Contributors
Chast, Roz illustrator., ill
ISBN
9780525655015

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Carl Hiassen and Tom Robbins write books punctuated with the sound of laughter bubbling up from within you. Implausible situations with oddball characters make their ingenious books more fun than folly. -- Tara Bannon Williamson
For a kinder, gentler comic caper, try Laurence Shames's books, which feature bumbling gangsters mixing it up with eccentric retirees in sunny Key West. Amusing oddballs and loutish lowlifes in farcical situations abound, yet are handled with a light, lyrical touch that allows for wistful evocations of Florida's natural beauty. -- Shauna Griffin
Aalborg and Hiaasen offer the reader fast-paced high-stakes adventures with unique settings against the backdrop of nature, unexpected twists, tautly suspenseful plots with romantic subplots, strong women who proactively work against injustice, environmental issues, a demonstrably offbeat sense of humor, and biting sociopolitical commentary. -- Lynne Welch
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Readers who appreciate Hiaasen's edginess will enjoy Tim Dorsey's noir thrillers recounting the maniacal misadventures of anti-hero Serge Storms, a psychopath fixated on a suitcase full of money and intrigued by local history. Dorsey, however, escalates the pace, the violence, and the demented humor, while including dollops of diverting Florida lore. -- Shauna Griffin
These authors write irreverently madcap adventures from the perspective of unfortunate characters who finally get their chance to succeed. A strong sense of place, pointed social commentary, and unexpected plot twists keep the reader guessing till the very end. -- Lynne Welch
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If raunch doesn't disturb you, take it up a notch with Harry Crews, whose wildly improbable stories showcase relentless, mordantly funny freakshows and bizarre and desperate misfits. Violent, grotesque, surreal, and definitely not for the squeamish, the prolific Crews takes black humor to new heights, and depths. -- Shauna Griffin
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Published Reviews

Library Journal Review

Most people are stupid. Try your best not to be too stupid. That could easily be an alternate title for this demotivational graduation speech from best-selling novelist and nonfiction author Hiaasen (Bad Monkey; Lucky You; Dance of the Reptiles). The happy platitudes often fed to the young come up against the harsh realities of adulthood in this slim volume. But more than that, Hiaasen calls readers to be decent in a constantly frustrating world. Though he exhorts us to worry constantly, he clarifies this to mean one should judge thoughtfully, think critically, and work hard at what matters. While not matched point by point to the text, National Book Critic Circle Award winner Chast (Going into Town; Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant) presents ever-hilarious, wobbly handed illustrations that highlight the nervous, lightly nihilistic tone of the narrative perfectly-"We're doomed, but I still want pizza." Verdict Hiaasen and Chast combine forces to help us keep our heads clear and our feet grounded in the face of an all too superficial, self-obsessed modern world, making this a succinct, swift read for their many fans.-Emilia Packard, Austin, TX © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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Kirkus Book Review

Two of the literary world's most entertaining lighthearted cynics collaborate on a brief text that takes the form of a fake graduation speech."It's pretty fucked up," writes Hiaasen (Razor Girl, 2016, etc.) early on in the speech, referring to the "real world" that his imaginary graduates are preparing to enter. Accompanied by apt illustrations from New Yorker illustrator Chast (Going into Town: A Love Letter to New York, 2017, etc.), winner of the Kirkus Prize and the National Book Award, this speech runs through a litany of life's challenges and obstacles and how to overcome them ("lowering your expectations will inoculate you against serial disappointment") followed by a shorter closing section in which Hiaasen turns more hopeful. After all, he does want his readers to experience happiness, but happiness is "slippery. It's unpredictable. It's a different sensation for everyone." A good portion of the text discusses our highly divisive society and the prevalence of stupidityor, more accurately, willful ignorance. Hiaasen is quick to point out that society as a whole may not be dumber than when he graduated college in 1974, but the social and cultural landscape is vastly different. "Society has been deeply divided before," he writes, "but never has it been so inanely distracted. Don't be shocked if more Americans can identify all the Kardashian sisters than can find Serbia on a world map." Global geography aside, there's no question that technology has shifted our gaze and often warped our perceptions of each other, and the text and illustrations here serve as a quick, amusing snapshot of that situation. Thankfully, underneath all the despair and snarksocial media is "a geyser of ominous evidence that our species has begun to de-evolve, receding back to the slime bog from which we first emerged"are glimmers of optimism, as in most of the work from both Hiaasen and Chast. "One thing happiness is not," writes Hiaasen, "is overrated."Slim but pointed and humorous; a good gift for the neighbor's kid's graduation. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

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LJ Express Reviews

Most people are stupid. Try your best not to be too stupid. That could easily be an alternate title for this demotivational graduation speech from best-selling novelist and nonfiction author Hiaasen (Bad Monkey; Lucky You; Dance of the Reptiles). The happy platitudes often fed to the young come up against the harsh realities of adulthood in this slim volume. But more than that, Hiaasen calls readers to be decent in a constantly frustrating world. Though he exhorts us to worry constantly, he clarifies this to mean one should judge thoughtfully, think critically, and work hard at what matters. While not matched point by point to the text, National Book Critic Circle Award winner Chast (Going into Town; Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant) presents ever-hilarious, wobbly handed illustrations that highlight the nervous, lightly nihilistic tone of the narrative perfectly—"We're doomed, but I still want pizza." Verdict Hiaasen and Chast combine forces to help us keep our heads clear and our feet grounded in the face of an all too superficial, self-obsessed modern world, making this a succinct, swift read for their many fans.—Emilia Packard, Austin, TX (c) Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
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