From the Book - First U.S. Edition.
Jenny Lawson, full-grown mammal: an introduction
I already forgot I wrote this
Six times I've lost my shoes while wearing them: a list that shouldn't exist
And then I bought condoms for my dog
All of the reasons why I'm not coming to your party
Samuel L. Jackson is trying to kill me
How do dogs know they have penises?
These truisms leave out a lot of the truth
An open letter to my health insurance company
I'm not going outside anymore
The things we do to quiet the monsters
The golden (shower) years
Awkwarding brings us together
That time I got haunted by lizards with bike horns
We are who we are until we aren't anymore
Introverts unite! (But sweet baby Jesus, not in real life)
The secret to a long marriage
So I'm paying to beat the shit out of myself?
Anxiety is a lost watch I never saw
The eight billionth argument I had with Victor this week
Sometimes there is beauty in breaking
No one wants your handwritten "Good for one free massage" coupons, Darryl
Editing is hell, mostly for editors
The first satanic ritual I ever saw
My house is a garbage fire because I clean it
And that's why I can never go back to the post office again
Up divorce creek without a paddle (because the guide didn't trust me not to push Victor overboard with it)
Eclipse (not the Twilight book, the other kind)
Business ideas to pitch on Shark Tank
Strange new weather patterns
