Wedding toasts I'll never give

Introduction: "Do you know why you're here?"

Toast 1: paying for each other's mistakes

Toast 2: the boring parts

Toast 3: containing multitudes

Toast 4: the truth about soul mates

Toast 5: fighting in rental cars

Toast 6: other people, other cities

Toast 7: "love is strong as death"

Epilogue: one toast I would actually give.