The parents we mean to be: how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development

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Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,
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Harvard psychologist RichardWeissbourd argues incisively that parents—not peers, not television—are the primary shapers of their children’s moral lives. And yet, it is parents’ lack of self-awareness and confused priorities that are dangerously undermining children’s development.Through the author’s own original field research, including hundreds of rich, revealing conversations with children, parents, teachers, and coaches, a surprising picture emerges.Parents’ intense focus on their children’s happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists.The suddenly widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children—a heartening trend in many ways—often undercuts kids’ morality.Our fixation with being great parents—and our need for our children to reflect that greatness—can actually make them feel ashamed for failing to measure up. Finally, parents’ interactions with coaches and teachers—and coaches’ and teachers’ interactions with children—are critical arenas for nurturing, or eroding, children’s moral lives.Weissbourd’s ultimately compassionate message—based on compelling new research—is that the intense, crisis-filled, and profoundly joyous process of raising a child can be a powerful force for our own moral development.
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Grouped Work ID 8af9a525-c0cb-8d02-1f56-f508359da1e1
full_title parents we mean to be how well intentioned adults undermine childrens moral and emotional developmen
author weissbourd rick
grouping_category book
lastUpdate 2017-08-16 04:59:26AM

Solr Details

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author Weissbourd, Rick.
author-letter Weissbourd, Rick.
author_additional Richard Weissbourd.
author_display Weissbourd, Rick
availability_toggle_arlington Available Now, Entire Collection
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callnumber-first H - Social Science
callnumber-subject HQ - Family, Marriage, Women
callnumber_sort_arlington 649.7 WEISS
collection_arlington Adult Nonfiction
date_added 2011-01-26T05:00:00Z
days_since_added 2398
detailed_location_arlington Cherrydale Adult Nonfiction, Columbia Pike Adult Nonfiction, Westover Adult Nonfiction
display_description Through the author's own original field research, a surprising picture of the moral development of children emerges to confirm that parents' intense focus on their children's happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists who feel ashamed when they fail to measure up. He posits that parents' challenge is not to teach morality, but first, "to help children deal with the emotions, such as the fear of being a pariah or a 'loser,' that cause them to transgress," and, secondly, " to help children develop a deep commitment to these values, a commitment that can override other needs and goals. The issue isn't moral literady; it's moral motivation. ... Appreciaton brakes destructive impulses." Finally, "a third challenge is to develop in children a strong sense of self -- so that they can withstand adversity in the service of moral goals -- and to ingrain in children from early ages the habits of attending to and caring for others."
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local_callnumber_arlington 649.7 WEISS
local_callnumber_exact_arlington 649.7 WEISS
local_callnumber_left_arlington 649.7 WEISS
local_days_since_added_arlington 2398
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oclc (OCoLC)231588345
owning_library_arlington Arlington Public Library, Aurora Hills, Central, Cherrydale, Columbia Pike, Connection Crystal City, Detention Center, Glencarlyn, Local History, Plaza, Shirlington, Westover
owning_location_arlington Cherrydale, Columbia Pike, Westover
physical xii, 241 p. ; 22 cm.
popularity 8
primary_isbn 9780618626175
publishDate 2009
publishDateSort 2009
publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,
rating 2.5
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record_details ils:.b12959078|Book|Books||English|Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,|c2009.|xii, 241 p. ; 22 cm.
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subject_facet Child rearing, Moral development, Parent and child
table_of_contents Helping children manage destructive emotions -- Promoting happiness and morality -- The real danger in the achievement craze -- When being close to children backfires -- Moral adults : moral children -- The real moral power of schools -- The morally mature sports parent -- Cultivating mature idealism in young people -- Key moral strengths of children across race and culture -- Conclusion: moral communities.
target_audience Adult
target_audience_full Adult
title The parents we mean to be : how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development
title_display The parents we mean to be : how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development
title_full The parents we mean to be : how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development / Richard Weissbourd
title_short The parents we mean to be :
title_sort parents we mean to be how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development
title_sub how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development