The parents we mean to be: how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development

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Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,
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A wake-up call for a national crisis in parenting--and a deeply helpful book for those who want to see their own behaviors as parents with the greatest possible clarity.Harvard psychologist RichardWeissbourd argues incisively that parents—not peers, not television—are the primary shapers of their children’s moral lives. And yet, it is parents’ lack of self-awareness and confused priorities that are dangerously undermining children’s development.Through the author’s own original field research, including hundreds of rich, revealing conversations with children, parents, teachers, and coaches, a surprising picture emerges.Parents’ intense focus on their children’s happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists.The suddenly widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children—a heartening trend in many ways—often undercuts kids’morality.Our fixation with being great parents—and our need for our children to reflect that greatness—can actually make them feel ashamed for failing to measure up. Finally, parents’ interactions with coaches and teachers—and coaches’ and teachers’ interactions with children—are critical arenas for nurturing, or eroding, children’s moral lives.Weissbourd’s ultimately compassionate message—based on compelling new research—is that the intense, crisis-filled, and profoundly joyous process of raising a child can be a powerful force for our own moral development.

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Grouped Work ID 8af9a525-c0cb-8d02-1f56-f508359da1e1
full_title parents we mean to be how well intentioned adults undermine childrens moral and emotional developmen
author weissbourd rick
grouping_category book
lastUpdate 2018-03-23 04:51:30AM

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accelerated_reader_reading_level 0
author Weissbourd, Rick.
author_display Weissbourd, Rick
available_at_arlington Westover
collection_arlington Adult Nonfiction
detailed_location_arlington Cherrydale Adult Nonfiction, Westover Adult Nonfiction
display_description Through the author's own original field research, a surprising picture of the moral development of children emerges to confirm that parents' intense focus on their children's happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists who feel ashamed when they fail to measure up. He posits that parents' challenge is not to teach morality, but first, "to help children deal with the emotions, such as the fear of being a pariah or a 'loser,' that cause them to transgress," and, secondly, " to help children develop a deep commitment to these values, a commitment that can override other needs and goals. The issue isn't moral literady; it's moral motivation. ... Appreciaton brakes destructive impulses." Finally, "a third challenge is to develop in children a strong sense of self -- so that they can withstand adversity in the service of moral goals -- and to ingrain in children from early ages the habits of attending to and caring for others."
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id 8af9a525-c0cb-8d02-1f56-f508359da1e1
isbn 9780547248035, 9780618626175
item_details ils:.b12959078|.i14047305|Westover Adult Nonfiction|649.7 WEISS|||1|false|false|||||On Shelf|Feb 22, 2017|wan||, ils:.b12959078|.i14047329|Cherrydale Adult Nonfiction|649.7 WEISS|||1|false|false|||||Due Apr 12, 2018|Dec 03, 2017|han||
itype_arlington Paperback
lexile_score -1
literary_form Non Fiction
literary_form_full Non Fiction
local_callnumber_arlington 649.7 WEISS
owning_library_arlington Arlington Public Library, Aurora Hills, Central, Cherrydale, Columbia Pike, Connection Crystal City, Detention Center, Glencarlyn, Local History, Plaza, Shirlington, Westover
owning_location_arlington Cherrydale, Westover
primary_isbn 9780618626175
publishDate 2009
record_details ils:.b12959078|Book|Books||English|Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,|c2009.|xii, 241 p. ; 22 cm.
recordtype grouped_work
scoping_details_arlington ils:.b12959078|.i14047305|On Shelf|On Shelf|false|true|true|false|false|true|999|||, ils:.b12959078|.i14047329|Checked Out|Checked Out|false|false|true|false|false|true|999|||
subject_facet Child rearing, Moral development, Parent and child
title_display The parents we mean to be : how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development
title_full The parents we mean to be : how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development / Richard Weissbourd
title_short The parents we mean to be :
title_sub how well-intentioned adults undermine children's moral and emotional development