I was a three-year-old arsonist
My childhood: David Copperfield meets Guns & Ammo magazine
Stanley, the magic talking squirrel
Jenkins, you motherfucker
If you need an arm condom, it might be time to reevaluate some of your life choices
And that's why Neil Patrick Harris would be the most successful mass murderer ever
No one ever taught me couch etiquette
Just your average engagement story
Married on the Fourth of July
There's no place like home
A series of helpful post-it notes I left around the house for my husband this week
The dark and disturbing secrets HR doesn't want you to know
If you see my liver, you've gone too far
My vagina is fine, thanks for asking
Phone conversation I had with my husband after I got lost for the eighty thousandth time
And then I got stabbed in the face by a serial killer
Thanks for the zombies, Jesus
Making friends with girls
I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in taht I am both "great and terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains)
The psychopath on the other side of the bathroom door
An open letter to my husband, who is asleep in the next room
Just to clarify : we don't sleep with goats
Honestly, I don't even know where I got that machete : a comic tragedy in three parts days
I'm going to need an old priest and a young priest
And that's why you should learn to pick your battles
Hairless rats : free for kids only
And then I snuck a dead Cuban alligator on an airplane
You can't go home again (unless you want to get mauled by wild dogs).
