Hero of the underground

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St. Martin's Press,
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I wasn’t afraid of death. How could I be? I lived under death’s shadow every day. When you swallow eighty Vicodin, twenty sleeping pills, drink a bottle of vodka, and still survive, a certain sense of invulnerability stays with you. When you continually use drugs with the kind of reckless determination that I did, the limit to how much heroin or crack you can ingest is not defined in dollar amounts, but in the amounts your body can withstand without experiencing a seizure or respiratory failure. Yet at the end of every binge, every night of lining up six, seven, eight crack pipes and hitting them one after the other bam! bam! bam! every night of smoking and snorting bag after bag of heroin . . . after all of that, when you still wake up to see the same dirty sky over you as the night before, you start to think that instead of dying, maybe your punishment is to live---to be stuck in this purgatory of self-abuse and misery for an eternity. Sometimes you start to think that death would come as a blessed relief.Toward the end, I found myself contemplating death again. Only this time I wasn’t going to leave it to chance. I was going to buy a gun, load the thing, place the barrel in my mouth, and blow my fucking brains out. I sat on my parents’ sofa as I pondered this. All I needed was a gun. And then all--of my problems--would be solved.

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Grouping Information

Grouped Work ID d354f4d5-1b19-c717-8ddf-a37feaafcfcc
full_title hero of the underground
author peter jason
grouping_category book
lastUpdate 2017-08-14 05:04:22AM

Solr Details

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auth_author2 O'Neill, Tony, 1978-
author Peter, Jason, 1974-
author-letter Peter, Jason,
author2 O'Neill, Tony, 1978-
author2-role O'Neill, Tony,1978-
author_additional Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill.
author_display Peter, Jason
availability_toggle_arlington Available Now, Entire Collection
available_at_arlington Central
callnumber-a GV939.P476
callnumber-first G - Geography, Anthropology, Recreation
callnumber-subject GV - Leisure and Recreation
callnumber_sort_arlington 796.332 PETER
collection_arlington Adult Nonfiction
date_added 2011-01-26T05:00:00Z
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edition 1st ed.
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isbn 031237576, 9780312375768
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local_callnumber_arlington 796.332 PETER
local_callnumber_exact_arlington 796.332 PETER
local_callnumber_left_arlington 796.332 PETER
local_days_since_added_arlington 2399
num_holdings 1
oclc (OCoLC)217262669
owning_library_arlington Arlington Public Library, Aurora Hills, Central, Cherrydale, Columbia Pike, Connection Crystal City, Detention Center, Glencarlyn, Local History, Plaza, Shirlington, Westover
owning_location_arlington Central
physical vi, 289 p. ; 24 cm.
popularity 1
primary_isbn 031237576
publishDate 2008
publishDateSort 2008
publisher St. Martin's Press,
rating 2.5
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record_details ils:.b12989587|Book|Books|1st ed.|English|St. Martin's Press,|2008.|vi, 289 p. ; 24 cm.
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subject_facet Football players -- United States -- Biography, Heroin abuse
target_audience Adult
target_audience_full Adult
title Hero of the underground
title_display Hero of the underground
title_full Hero of the underground / Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill
title_short Hero of the underground
title_sort hero of the underground