Hero of the underground

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St. Martin's Press,
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I wasn’t afraid of death. How could I be? I lived under death’s shadow every day. When you swallow eighty Vicodin, twenty sleeping pills, drink a bottle of vodka, and still survive, a certain sense of invulnerability stays with you. When you continually use drugs with the kind of reckless determination that I did, the limit to how much heroin or crack you can ingest is not defined in dollar amounts, but in the amounts your body can withstand without experiencing a seizure or respiratory failure. Yet at the end of every binge, every night of lining up six, seven, eight crack pipes and hitting them one after the other bam! bam! bam! every night of smoking and snorting bag after bag of heroin . . . after all of that, when you still wake up to see the same dirty sky over you as the night before, you start to think that instead of dying, maybe your punishment is to live---to be stuck in this purgatory of self-abuse and misery for an eternity. Sometimes you start to think that death would come as a blessed relief.Toward the end, I found myself contemplating death again. Only this time I wasn’t going to leave it to chance. I was going to buy a gun, load the thing, place the barrel in my mouth, and blow my fucking brains out. I sat on my parents’ sofa as I pondered this. All I needed was a gun. And then all--of my problems--would be solved.

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Grouping Information

Grouped Work ID d354f4d5-1b19-c717-8ddf-a37feaafcfcc
full_title hero of the underground
author peter jason
grouping_category book
lastUpdate 2017-08-14 05:04:22AM

Solr Details

accelerated_reader_point_value 0
accelerated_reader_reading_level 0
auth_author2 O'Neill, Tony, 1978-
author Peter, Jason, 1974-
author2-role O'Neill, Tony,1978-
author_display Peter, Jason
available_at_arlington Central
collection_arlington Adult Nonfiction
detailed_location_arlington Central Adult Nonfiction
format_arlington Book
format_category_arlington Books
id d354f4d5-1b19-c717-8ddf-a37feaafcfcc
isbn 031237576, 9780312375768
item_details ils:.b12989587|.i13551243|Central Adult Nonfiction|796.332 PETER|||1|false|false|||||On Shelf|Nov 08, 2014|can||
itype_arlington Hardback
lexile_score -1
literary_form Non Fiction
literary_form_full Non Fiction
local_callnumber_arlington 796.332 PETER
owning_library_arlington Arlington Public Library, Aurora Hills, Central, Cherrydale, Columbia Pike, Connection Crystal City, Detention Center, Glencarlyn, Local History, Plaza, Shirlington, Westover
owning_location_arlington Central
primary_isbn 031237576
publishDate 2008
record_details ils:.b12989587|Book|Books|1st ed.|English|St. Martin's Press,|2008.|vi, 289 p. ; 24 cm.
recordtype grouped_work
scoping_details_arlington ils:.b12989587|.i13551243|On Shelf|On Shelf|false|true|true|false|false|true|999|||
subject_facet Football players -- United States -- Biography, Heroin abuse
title_display Hero of the underground
title_full Hero of the underground / Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill
title_short Hero of the underground