Your dad stole my rake and other family dilemmas

Book Cover
Average Rating
Author
Publisher
St. Martin's Press
Publication Date
2018.
Language
English

Description

“I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years. His lack of ability to perceive even the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague. Because he sees nothing, knows nothing and understands nothing, I always seek his advice for the most complex matters. Furthermore, I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is, because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything. He is really one of my favorite people.” —Jerry Seinfeld, author of SeinLanguage“Finally a funny book about parenting. Great observations. Great writing. Actually funny. I’ve always known Tom was hysterical, now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller. Can Tom Papa write all books?” —Jim Gaffigan, author of Dad is FatIt’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa.How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment. Among the topics covered: - Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You’re Too Needy Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book.

More Details

ISBN
9781250144386

Table of Contents

From the Book - First edition.

Mom & dads. No presents for Dad ; Call your mother before she's dead ; Tiger Mom vs. Ice-cream Mom ; Things you find on Mom ; Don't ask your father ; Your children should at least think you might spank them ; Things you find on Dad ; Stop trying to be cool
Children. welcome to plain pasta, can I take your oder? ; The kid with the googly eye ; Your baby doesn't want to go anywhere with you ; Boys stink ; How to yell at your children ; Morning people ; In defense of family vacations ; The happiest place on earth? ; No fighting before coffee ; Least popular baby names ; School sucks!
Family life. Someone threw up there ; Worst family vacation spots ; Nuttier than a fruitcake ; No phones at the tablay ; Stay out of the emergency room ; Tell me that story again ; Bad family games ; Birthday parties belong at home ; Fun family traditions
Husbands. There are no great guys ; Don't drag him to an art gallery while on vacation ; Things husbands lie about ; You aren't marrying who you think you are ; John is dead
Wives. The wife lie detector ; the importance of the forced romantic getaway ; We'll sleep when we're dead ; That cute thing she does ; What men think their wives do in the bathroom ; Leave the past alone ; There's no such thing as a soul mate
Pets. Your cat thinks you're too needy ; Your dog doesn't want to go to a restaurant with you ; Get a fish ; Good family pets ; Requiems for Smokey ; Bad family pets
Grandparents. Fishing for sky ; Old people shouldn't twerk ; Perfect gift ideas for Grandma ; Who's watching who? ; Bad gift ideas for Grandma
The outlaws. Your father-in-law doesn't like you either ; Best places to bring your daughter's boyfriend ; Your Mom's not the boss of me
Brothers & sisters. Mistake in the woods ; The brother I never had
Aunts, uncles & cousins too. Cool aunt vs. creepy aunt ; Uncle Al, all the kids' pal ; Cool things to do with your uncle when you're young ; Your cousins will ruin your life
Strangers. Rocky Road ; New Americans (Trolls ; Techno-idiots ; The super sports fan ; The angry, middle-aged white guy ; Hot moms ; Know-nothing life masters) ; People to avoid on a plane
And finally...just eat the bread.

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Published Reviews

Library Journal Review

Forget tiger mom, stand-up comedian Papa (lead writer, A Prairie Home -Companion) introduces the much more palatable ice cream mom and admonishes us to call our moms before they die of martyrdom and explores why giving dad gifts is a waste (the best present is to leave him alone). Lauded by fellow -comedians Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat), Papa will send readers into peals of laughter as he delves into why the real necessities of a "kid friendly" vacation are vending machine snacks and ice and why having sick children is like working for FEMA (it involves "mopping things up, carrying bodies, and doing laundry"). This is a quick read, with brief chapters that keep readers turning pages and perhaps reaching for a tissue to soak up tears of hilarity. Truth is oftentimes stranger than fiction, and the bizarre characters we are related to may just provide the best comic relief. VERDICT At times poignant, always tickling the funny bone, Papa's first book will brighten the most challenging days of toddler- and teenagerhood. © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
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Kirkus Book Review

Family-oriented, family-directed humor from the longtime Prairie Home Companion head writer.What's a terrible place to take your family on vacation? Why, for one, "Vladimir Putin's House of Fun." And, for another, "Walmart." Papa kids; he jokes; he japes, always within a G- (or, in daring moments, PG-) rated milieu. The formula is pure post-Keillor-ian Midwestern, Mort Sahl toned way down: Start with an observation ("men are ruthless and aggressive and powerful"), joke it away ("that's how we kept wild animals from eating the children"), and then carry it over to a secondary observation ("this is why putting this animal instinct aside and acting like a great guy' is a fraud") And again: "Fish are great. You always know where they are, you're never going to find a fish eating out of your garbage, and they don't jump up on the kitchen table and start licking plates." It's shtick, but within its own narrow confines, it works just fine. It's not too challenging or too topical, and it draws people in with an in-on-the-joke "oh, yeah." If you're a parent, you're already in on a big swath of Papa's humor; it makes eminent good business sense, on that front, to buy into his idea of a restaurant for kids called Plain Pasta: "Anyone with a child would be making reservations months in advance, planning their birthday parties and ordering take-out." No doubt. And no one with a child will contest the author's position that of all the categories of relatives one might have, the aunt is the coolest. In small doses the groaners are great, but in larger oneswell, it's like being around someone much older and forcing a smile to keep the peace.If Lawrence Welk had been a comedian, this is the book he might have writtenpleasing for a certain demographic. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
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Library Journal Reviews

Forget tiger mom, stand-up comedian Papa (lead writer, A Prairie Home Companion) introduces the much more palatable ice cream mom and admonishes us to call our moms before they die of martyrdom and explores why giving dad gifts is a waste (the best present is to leave him alone). Lauded by fellow comedians Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat), Papa will send readers into peals of laughter as he delves into why the real necessities of a "kid friendly" vacation are vending machine snacks and ice and why having sick children is like working for FEMA (it involves "mopping things up, carrying bodies, and doing laundry"). This is a quick read, with brief chapters that keep readers turning pages and perhaps reaching for a tissue to soak up tears of hilarity. Truth is oftentimes stranger than fiction, and the bizarre characters we are related to may just provide the best comic relief. VERDICT At times poignant, always tickling the funny bone, Papa's first book will brighten the most challenging days of toddler- and teenagerhood.

Copyright 2018 Library Journal.

Copyright 2018 Library Journal.
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