No happy endings: a memoir
Description
The author of It’s Okay to Laugh and host of the popular podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking—interviews that are “a gift to be able to listen [to]” (New York Times)—returns with more hilarious meditations on her messy, wonderful, bittersweet, and unconventional life.Life has a million different ways to kick you right in the chops. We lose love, lose jobs, lose our sense of self. For Nora McInerny, it was losing her husband, her father, and her unborn second child in one catastrophic year.
But in the wake of loss, we get to assemble something new from whatever is left behind. Some circles call finding happiness after loss “Chapter 2”—the continuation of something else. Today, Nora is remarried and mothers four children aged 16 months to 16 years. While her new circumstances bring her extraordinary joy, they are also tinged with sadness over the loved ones she’s lost.
Life has made Nora a reluctant expert in hard conversations. On her wildly popular podcast, she talks about painful experiences we inevitably face, and exposes the absurdity of the question “how are you?” that people often ask when we’re coping with the aftermath of emotional catastrophe. She knows intimately that when your life falls apart, there’s a mad rush to be okay—to find a silver lining, to get to the happy ending. In this, her second memoir, Nora offers a tragicomic exploration of the tension between finding happiness and holding space for the unhappy experiences that have shaped us.
No Happy Endings is a book for people living life after life has fallen apart. It’s a book for people who know that they’re moving forward, not moving on. It’s a book for people who know life isn’t always happy, but it isn’t the end: there will be unimaginable joy and incomprehensible tragedy. As Nora reminds us, there will be no happy endings—but there will be new beginnings.
Table of Contents
From the Book - First edition.
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Published Reviews
Booklist Review
The world does break everyone that is a damn guarantee.... Families are snapped apart by death, money, drugs, divorce, the wrong thing said at the wrong time."" McInerny, author of It's Okay to Laugh (2016) and host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, knows about being broken. Within months, she lost her unborn baby, her father, and her husband, Aaron. What makes this book so powerful is the way McInerny shares the painful act of rebuilding her life with such honesty and humor. She isn't afraid to admit how hard it is to find joy surrounded by so much sorrow. She knows that when people ask others how they're doing, they may answer fine, even though their lives are falling apart. And she knows how to laugh with tears falling. When McInerny meets Matthew, a divorced dad with two kids, she is both frightened and intrigued. Can they combine families while still honoring Aaron's memory and that of the mother of Matthew's children? Everyone faces tragedy. McInerny shows you how to do it with strength and grace.--Candace Smith Copyright 2019 Booklist
Library Journal Review
In this follow-up to It's Okay To Laugh, -McInerny, host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking and founder of the Hot Young Widows Club, describes her efforts not to deny the past but make room for it. The author begins by covering similar territory as in her podcast and first book; shortly after having a child, she experienced a miscarriage and lost both her husband and father to cancer. With humor and vulnerability, McInerny illustrates the emotional toll of pretending that everything was fine. What does it mean to be a widow at 31? Is falling in love again a betrayal? Chapters on the author's blended family are the strongest and include discussions of becoming a stepmom and not liking the term, as well as raising a family with her second husband while making sure her son from her first marriage remained connected to her late husband's family. Yet, brief essays about feedback on her podcast feel out of place, interrupting the flow of the narrative, and reflections on the cultural expectations of her Catholic upbringing could have been expanded. VERDICT Spanning memoir and parenting, this supplemental purchase is best for large memoir collections; it can be read alongside the author's first book or on its own.-Stephanie Sendaula, Library Journal © Copyright 2019. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Kirkus Book Review
A memoir of finding a new way forward following significant misfortune.In The Hot Young Widow's Club (2019), her recent TED book, McInerny (It's Okay to Laugh: (Crying Is Cool Too), 2017, etc.) told the story of her life after she suffered three tragedies in one year: a miscarriage and the deaths of her father and her husband, Aaron. Her latest book is a continuation of sorts, chronicling her relationship with Aaron and her new relationship with Matthew, a divorced man with two children. With both witty humor and profundity, the author addresses the harsh reality of death and the life-changing effects of her grief, especially that critical first year when every day was an anniversary of some sort that needed to be lived through as best she could. Her story is also a celebration of life, sexual desire, and learning to love what is right in front of you, regardless of how others feel or react to the situation. The author, who hosts the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, openly shares her fears about potentially losing Aaron's extended family as members of her own, the difficulties and triumphs of blending Matthew's family with hers, and the gratefulness she has felt about having two different relationships with two extraordinary men. Additionally, within this tragic love story are minor themes of feminism, sexism, and religion. McInerny's best friends and their unwavering support through all the ups and downs are also significant factors in this perceptive tale. The author's love for both Aaron and Matthew is consistently apparent but, refreshingly, never maudlin. McInerny delivers a highly emotionalbut not overly somberstory that will appeal to anyone who has suffered a significant loss and is seeking a path toward life's next chapter.Reflective and tender writing on finding new meanings and a different life after heartbreaking loss. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Reviews
"The world does break everyone—that is a damn guarantee. . . . Families are snapped apart by death, money, drugs, divorce, the wrong thing said at the wrong time. McInerny, author of It's Okay to Laugh (2016) and host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, knows about being broken. Within months, she lost her unborn baby, her father, and her husband, Aaron. What makes this book so powerful is the way McInerny shares the painful act of rebuilding her life with such honesty and humor. She isn't afraid to admit how hard it is to find joy surrounded by so much sorrow. She knows that when people ask others how they're doing, they may answer "fine," even though their lives are falling apart. And she knows how to laugh with tears falling. When McInerny meets Matthew, a divorced dad with two kids, she is both frightened and intrigued. Can they combine families while still honoring Aaron's memory and that of the mother of Matthew's children? Everyone faces tragedy. McInerny shows you how to do it with strength and grace. Copyright 2019 Booklist Reviews.
Library Journal Reviews
Host of the Gracie Award-winning podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, McInerny lost her father, her husband, and her unborn second child in a single year. She went on to found the grant-giving nonprofit Still Kickin and a 5,000-member support group, the Hot Young Widows Club. Now remarried and the mother of four, she said proclaimed in her last book that It's Okay To Laugh. With a 100,000-copy first printing.
Copyright 2018 Library Journal.Library Journal Reviews
In this follow-up to It's Okay To Laugh, McInerny, host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking and founder of the Hot Young Widows Club, describes her efforts not to deny the past but make room for it. The author begins by covering similar territory as in her podcast and first book; shortly after having a child, she experienced a miscarriage and lost both her husband and father to cancer. With humor and vulnerability, McInerny illustrates the emotional toll of pretending that everything was fine. What does it mean to be a widow at 31? Is falling in love again a betrayal? Chapters on the author's blended family are the strongest and include discussions of becoming a stepmom and not liking the term, as well as raising a family with her second husband while making sure her son from her first marriage remained connected to her late husband's family. Yet, brief essays about feedback on her podcast feel out of place, interrupting the flow of the narrative, and reflections on the cultural expectations of her Catholic upbringing could have been expanded. VERDICT Spanning memoir and parenting, this supplemental purchase is best for large memoir collections; it can be read alongside the author's first book or on its own.—Stephanie Sendaula, Library Journal
Copyright 2019 Library Journal.