Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Recipes, Letters, and Remembrances
(Libby/OverDrive eAudiobook)

In this heartfelt memoir, Newbery medalist Alexander (Rebound) churns on what he has learned--and is still learning--about love. He traces his model for romance to his parents, who taught him to "use his words," but were rarely affectionate and lived apart for decades. He shares hard-won lessons from the painful dissolution of his own marriages and his grief not only for those relationships but also for the questions he became too afraid to ask his father after his mother's death. Finally, he turns to his daughters and confronts the difficulty of embracing solitude as they grow up and away from the family home. Interleaved through these reflections are sensuous memories of meals and music, from cracking a $250 beer with poet Nikki Giovanni to reverse engineering his mother's fried chicken recipe after she died. Alexander observes that "we sometimes find poems in the strangest and most uncomfortable places," and, indeed, this candid and courageous work finds poetry in places both ordinary and extraordinary. It's a quiet triumph. Agent: Deneen Howell, Williams & Connolly. (May)Correction: An earlier version of this review incorrectly stated that both of the author's parents are deceased.

A poetic and epistolary collage focused on familial, romantic, and nourishing love. "This is not a traditional memoir," writes Newbery Medalist Alexander in the first of three introductions. "These are just snapshots of a man learning to love. Again." In the second introduction, "A Letter to My Daughters," the author writes, "All the things I wished I could have learned from my mother and was too afraid to ask my father are between these covers." In the third, "How to Read This Book," he advises, "Let these humble meditations and musings / carry you close, permanent, abreast--a wave." The remaining sections of the book include "Looking for Me," "A Letter to My Mother," and an eponymous section. Using poetry, prose, and recipes, Alexander reminiscences about healing his long-distant relationship with his father; moving forward following the death of his beloved mother; being inspired to become a writer by--and being a college student of--Nikki Giovanni ("My first grade in Nikki's class was a C‑minus. I was disappointed, but not discouraged"); the beginning and end of marriage ("and I remember feeling defeated / at not having a key / to my own wife's apartment"); and myriad lessons about how to live a curious and wholehearted life. "Part of moving yourself forward in a life-giving way," he writes to one of his children, "is to take the things from the past that have helped shape and mold you and use them as anchors to the future." Writing about certain recipes, the author describes when and why he makes them--e.g., "this 7UP pound cake represents family tradition, connection, and love. Now, for the best results, don't go substituting Sprite"; and Granny's hot buttered rolls ("What I'm listening to while I bake: 'Brighter Day' by Kirk Franklin"). Alexander connects disparate forms through his disarmingly forthright, humble voice, familiar vernacular, and optimism. This magnanimous hybrid-form memoir is rich with solace and wisdom. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

A prolific poet and author of children's literature, Alexander deploys his skillful lyricism to explore themes of failure in family and love in this genre-blending memoir. In narrative poems and short prose chapters, Alexander examines his relationships with his parents, his spouse, and his children with characteristic candor. Recollecting the unraveling of his parents' relationship ("I never saw my parents hold / each other's hands"), the author turns to address his child as his own marriage falls apart: "you're wondering why you never saw us / holding hands." But Alexander also makes space for sizzling moments of sensuality from the early days of dating: "Maybe she is thirsty, / so she pulls the cork / the wet legs on her glass / pressing for a sweet taste." An epicure at heart, Alexander intersperses recipes throughout the book, including those for 7 Up pound cake and jollof Caesar salad, often pairing recipes with music to enjoy while preparing the dishes, such as "Love Tastes like Strawberries," by Somi, and "Moody's Mood," by George Benson. A refreshing entry in the author's bountiful oeuvre. Copyright 2023 Booklist Reviews.

In Why Fathers Cry at Night, Newbery Medalist and New York Times best-selling author Alexander (Swing) blends memoir and love poems, recalling his parent and his first years of marriage and fatherhood as he ponders learning to love (50,000-copy first printing). After abandoning her marriage as the wrong path, Biggs looked at women from Mary Wollstonecraft to Zora Neale Hurston to Elena Ferrante as she considered how to find A Life of One's Own. A celebrated New York-based carpenter (e.g., his iconic Sky House was named best apartment of the decade by Interior Design), self-described serial dropout Ellison recounts how he found his path to Building. Shot five times at age 19 by a Pittsburgh police officer (a case of mistaken identity that amounted to racial profiling), Ford awoke paralyzed from the waist down and learned he was a new father; a decade later, he recounts his path to social activism and An Unspeakable Hope for himself and his son. From the first Black American female designer to win a CFDA Award, Wildflower takes James from high school dropout to designer of a sustainable fashion line showcasing traditional African design to founder of the booming social justice nonprofit Fifteen Percent Pledge (businesses pledge to dedicate 15 percent of their shelf space to Black-owned brands). Minka's fans will proclaim Tell Me Everything when they pick up her hand-to-mouth-to Hollywood memoir (30,000-copy first printing). In Whistles from the Graveyard, which aims to capture the experience of confused young millennials in the U.S. Marines, Lagoze recalls serving as a combat cameraman in the Afghan War and witnessing both bonding with locals against the Taliban and brutality toward innocent people by young men too practiced in violence. To cement ties with his eldest son, star of Netflix's hit Dead to Me, veteran actor and New York Times best-selling author McCarthy found himself Walking with Sam along Spain's 500-mile Camino de Santiago. A first-generation Chinese American with a seafaring father and a seamstress mother, Pen/Faulkner Award finalist Ng (Bone) recounts being raised in San Francisco's Chinatown by the community's Orphan Bachelors, older men without wives or children owing to the infamous Exclusion Act. Thought-provoking novelist Pittard (Reunion) turns to nonfiction with We Are Too Many, an expansion of her attention-getting Sewanee Review essay about her husband's affair with her best friend (80,000-copy first printing). Delighted by all the queer stories she encountered when she moved to Brooklyn, book publicist Possanza uses Lesbian Love Story to recover the personal histories of lesbians in the 20th century and muse about replacing contemporary misogynistic society with something markedly lesbian. In Uncle of the Year, Tony, Drama Desk, and Critics Choice Award nominee Rannells wonders at age 40 what success means and whether he wants a husband and family; 19 original essays and one published in the New York Times. Describing himself as Uneducated (he was tossed out of high school and never went to college), Zara ended up as senior editor at Fast Company, among other leading journalist stints; here's how he did it (30,000 copy first printing.)

In this heartfelt memoir, Newbery medalist Alexander (Rebound) churns on what he has learned—and is still learning—about love. He traces his model for romance to his parents, who taught him to "use his words," but were rarely affectionate and lived apart for decades. He shares hard-won lessons from the painful dissolution of his own marriages and his grief not only for those relationships but also for the questions he became too afraid to ask his father after his mother's death. Finally, he turns to his daughters and confronts the difficulty of embracing solitude as they grow up and away from the family home. Interleaved through these reflections are sensuous memories of meals and music, from cracking a $250 beer with poet Nikki Giovanni to reverse engineering his mother's fried chicken recipe after she died. Alexander observes that "we sometimes find poems in the strangest and most uncomfortable places," and, indeed, this candid and courageous work finds poetry in places both ordinary and extraordinary. It's a quiet triumph. Agent: Deneen Howell, Williams & Connolly. (May)Correction: An earlier version of this review incorrectly stated that both of the author's parents are deceased.